I’ve been told more than once that “The secret to a happy marriage is a husband who says ‘Yes, Dear’.”

Really?

We never “Yes, Dear” those we respect. It’s a placation technique, a cheap way to ignore someone without igniting conflict.

People we respect deserve honest engagement, whether you agree or disagree with what they’re saying. They deserve considered, rational response and careful listening. When you respond to someone with intelligence, humility and honesty, they know that you have listened, and therefore that they are important to you.

Companies “Yes, Dear” their customers all the time. Larger firms don’t have much of an option: The size of their businesses necessitate a scalable customer service philosophy, and “Yes, Dear” is really easy to implement. But others have the ability to do things a bit differently.

An architect who okays every client suggestion isn’t likely to build iconic work. A politician who blindly follows the requests of his electorate ultimately fails them.

Good partners in any relationship don’t default to “Yes, dear.” They listen, consider, and respond with the respect their partner deserves.